Journal

A place to comment on things that cause me to reflect on Christ, cite scripture, or record random thoughts.

40 Days

Today was day 40 (or day zero if one prefers to count down,) and as it comes to a close I find myself reflecting back, trying to gage the changes ... to differentiate between the once was and the now is. I’m not sure what I should call myself now. I am no longer a back-sliding Christian, that I can say with some certainty. (I'll need to update my homepage.) I also don't feel like I'm standing still. It kind of feel like running up the down escalator, there is upward motion but your not moving as fast as you feel like you are. So, I hesitate to say how far I’ve come. How would you respond if, after having walked in the wilderness for 40 days, someone asked, “how many steps did you take?”

For those that are curious, no this was not for Lent. I'm not Catholic. (Plus, I don't think that has happened yet.) This was my own personal exile into the wilderness ... or at least that's what I'm calling it. Tick - tick - tick. Just now, where you read three little words, I spent twenty minutes trying to come up with an analogy to explain what I mean by wilderness, but nothing seems to works. Let's just call it ... a diet of the world. That is, I fasted from the world for 40 days. And I feel better than I have in a very long time.

I have emersed myself in the word, grown to hear God - or at least when He shouts, reached out to family that I have long since spoken, reconciled with colleagues. I just feel ... whole. Don't get me wrong. I believe this is just an interlude. After you workout, you need to give the body time to repair and recover. But if it was a really good workout and you can both see and feel the results, you look forward to getting back to work.

Here I am, Lord ... bring on day 41!

Updates

Videos for Genesis 1-26 and Matthew 1-7 have been uploaded, which means, with respect to the reading plan, Matthew is good but I've fallen behind on Genesis. This pace is getting rough. As for the reading part of the reading plan; OT - 1 Samual 14 ... NT - about to begin Luke.

Matthew 7:7-8

"Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened." 

1 Peter 5:5-11

"Likewise, you younger ones, be subject to the elder. Yes, all of you clothe yourselves with humility, to subject yourselves to one another; for God resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble. Humble yourselves therefore under the mighty hand of God, that he may exalt you in due time; casting all your worries on him, because he cares for you. Be sober and self-controlled. Be watchful. Your adversary, the devil, walks around like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour. Withstand him steadfast in your faith, knowing that your brothers who are in the world are undergoing the same sufferings. But may the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after you have suffered a little while, perfect, establish, strengthen, and settle you. To him be the glory and the power forever and ever. Amen."

Romans 5:3-5

"Not only this, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering works perseverance; and perseverance, proven character; and proven character, hope: and hope doesn't disappoint us, because God's love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us."

1 John 3:18

"My little children, let's not love in word only, neither with the tongue only, but in deed and truth."

Something Word This Breakfast Comes

After church I decided to go out for Eggs Benedict (one day I’ll learn how to poach an egg, proper.) I have my favorite “breakfast” restaurant but today I went somewhere a little closer to home due to time constrains, distance, and … something to do with 40 days in the desert.

In any event, I took my iPad to re-read some scripture before recording the related video, (it’s a  process,) and went over some highlighted verses while waiting to be seated. In this case, I had highlighted Numbers 13:33 for research purposes and had forgotten to remove the highlight afterwords.

It is in Numbers 13 that we hear about the Israelites scouting report on the promised land. Of the 12, only Caleb and Joshua gave a good report. In verse 32 the other 10 gave a, “negative report,” and then go on to claim to have seen Nephilim in verse 33, and I though it was odd that there would be any Nephilim around after the flood.

Before, I would have just  chalked something like this up to, “just another Biblical contradiction,” followed by an exaggerated eye-roll, and then forgotten about it. But now, I research. And as it turns out (from said research) the reference to “negative report” in verse 32, is translated as, “bad report,” in the NKJV; and, “evil report,” in the World English Bible translation, which I use in the videos. In short, the 10 weren’t just overstating their perceived obstacles, they flat out lied. So, no ... not a contradiction.

But I digress. As I sat in the waiting area, two gentlemen walked up to me, excused themselves for any interruption they might have caused, and asked me if I was reading scripture … and, if so what book?

This completely threw me off. My iPad cover was closed, they walked toward me from the front, and … book? The highlight list was from the entire Bible, so … book?

As it turns out, they were standing next to me a few minutes earlier and one had noticed the word Nephilim on my iPad screen. At this point, I understood what he was asking; explained it was from Numbers, why I wanted to look into it, and how the reported, “Nephilim-foot,” sighting was just fake news. (Perhaps I should visit my eye doctor. How bad must my vision be to be using such a large font that someone can pick out the word Nephilim that easily?)

But, to be honest, I think what really threw me off was that I was being called out. I just didn't expect it. I was being asked by two strangers, in public, and not with what I would call the most “indoor voice” I’ve ever heard, “Excuse me but, was that scripture? Were you reading the Bible?” I’ve said that part of this process is to live in the light, but this felt very flashlight in the eyes … perhaps even a little deer in the headlights-esque. 

But what I think would throw off most people that think they know me is, I answered with an honest, “yes.”

My Personal Day of Atonement

In the last few months, I have had a difficult time with work, blaming others for many of the problems I had to deal with. Granted, I never took it personally, and I acknowledge that plenty of blame fell on my own shoulders, but I had no issue pointing fingers at those around me whom I perceived to have made mistakes, correctly or not. But today was not about any mistakes that others may have made, it was about my own.

We all have things we would like to say to people, but never do, and I'm not different. However, this was getting to a point where I just wouldn't let these "wrongs" go. I was faced with a choice; find a way to stop or let it fester. Frankly, I found the idea of the later frightening as I can recall my parents telling my brothers and I (we used to fight a lot) to apologize and not let bitterness take root.

“See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God; that no ‘root of bitterness’ springs up and causes trouble, and by it many become defiled”

- Hebrews 12:15

So I made a point of apologizing for my behavior and attitude to several of the people I work. I very well may have offended more than I spoke with, as I don't know everyone that heard every gripe I made, but I at least apologized to those with whom my fingers had been pointed. I even opened up (just slightly - this is a workplace, after all) about what I am going through, spiritually. And I have to say, I was surprised at how well I was received. 

I should have done this months ago. I highly recommend it.

Two Year Bible Reading Plan

A Pastor friend of mine has decided to suggest (challenge?) the congregation to participate in The Discipleship Journal Bible Reading Plan. Personally, I think is an amazing idea ... and not just because it will help keep me on track. 

The plan is designed to be done in either one or two years, but he is going with the two year version. I believe this is because the one year plan requires a time commitment to which, perhaps, not everyone that would like to participate can commit. The way the reading plan works is that we are supposed to be reading from both the Old and New Testament at the same time. For example, in January we will be reading both Genesis and Matthew.

I'm just hoping to get credit for what I've already read with respect to this site. As of this writing, I only have videos of Genesis chapters 1-8 uploaded (9-12 are in the "Project" phase and 13-19 are still just raw footage) but in my daily reading I'm somewhere in Numbers 7. So my question, Pastor, is this ... rather than re-read Leviticus, may I demonstrate my knowledge of the text with a Peace Offering?  :)